Death By Hedonic Treadmill
I wrote this article inspired by Dr. Benjamin Hardy’s book, The Gap and The Gain.
It never occurred to us that comparing yourself to an ideal could be a bad thing. Isn’t that how it works? Don’t we personally develop by always grasping at the next thing? Doesn’t our discontentment fuel ambition? Isn’t it true that being satisfied by our current circumstances only results in apathy?
After all, it was Robert Goizieta that said:
“At the end of every day of every year, two things must remain unshakeable:
Our constancy of purpose and our continuous discontent with the present.”
How do we reconcile high achievement with gratitude and contentment about our circumstances?
What is The Hedonic Treadmill?
Philip Brickman and Donald T. Campbell coined the term “Hedonic Treadmill” in the late 70s to describe the human tendency to pursue one pleasure after another.
Each time we set a goal and reach it, our desire to achieve something greater increases. Our current accomplishments are no longer satisfactory and we feel the need to move on to the next thing.
In our minds, we have a perfect vision of ourselves we are striving towards. We are pointing our trajectory towards an ideal.
So what could be wrong with this?
By definition, the ideal we are striving towards has to be unreachable. The point of the hedonic treadmill is that there is no end to it. We are constantly striving towards the unattainable.
This creates unrealistic expectations and a lack mentality. It creates a deficit in our lives and forces us to focus on what we don’t have.
Unfortunately, this mindset bleeds into our relationships as well. We measure others against some arbitrary ideal the same way we do to ourselves. It’s the perfect formula for tension and resentment in our relationships.
The Difference Between Apathy and Contentment
You might be thinking, “What’s the alternative? Are we just supposed to stop striving for our goals?”
Thankfully, the answer is no. Contrary to what today’s “hustle and grind” mentality might tell you, apathy and contentment do not necessarily go hand in hand. It is possible to simultaneously feel grateful for our lives while continuing to move the needle forward.
How? By measuring ourselves against ourselves, instead of some arbitrary ideal.
Everything begins to change when you start comparing yourself from your own starting line.
It’s like seeing the inverted side of an optical illusion. Even though you’ve been staring at the same image you start to see an entirely different picture. You see the progress. You see that you are always winning because you are further from the start line than when you began.
Measuring yourself against yourself frees up space for gratitude and an awareness of how far you’ve come. Two extremely powerful ingredients for happiness and productivity.
How We Go From Gap to Gain
It is human nature to judge and compare ourselves. This is the way our brain defaults.
Measuring our success in a healthy and productive way requires conscious choice. It is formed through habit and regular practice of gratitude. We have to intentionally stop our thoughts in their tracks when we focus too much on the lack.
In the moments we catch ourselves thinking “I should be here by now.” We must stop, take a step back, and say “look at where I started, and look at how far I have come. I’m excited to be a little bit better tomorrow than I was today.”
It’s time to step off of the hedonic treadmill and start making real progress towards our goals. But this time, out of a mindset of “enough” supported by the firm foundation of our accomplishments.
